I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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