you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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