You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
