Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
