hotel room ftw
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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