what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
