u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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