Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
