The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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