I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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