there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
