My first STD was from a foam party
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
