this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
