I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
