I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
