Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
