Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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