Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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