I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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