Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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