She is in my trunk
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
