Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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