I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Randomize
