Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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