Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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