I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
