Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
