Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
