You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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