i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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