okay pat passed out under dana's car
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
