it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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