Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
