i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Randomize