I didn't shave. On purpose
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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