i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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