i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He felt like a one man threesome
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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