so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
