I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize