Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
