Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
