he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it glows. i had to have it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
