No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I will be naked everywhere
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
