Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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