Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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