I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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