whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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