Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
