what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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