Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
