My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize