its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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