Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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