And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
