it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
