I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
