Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm drive I can fine osifer
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Randomize
